“Here. Pick a line,” my friend’s voice was barely audible over the spiritual music.
I looked at the two equally fat and long lines and picked one. After the deep and quick inhale, he said, “Now take the other.”
I didn’t expect that but followed him anyway.
After the second hit, I climbed into the sofa and got myself cosy in the blanket I had prepared beforehand. The last thing I could hear was the chanting over the background music. My eyes shut themselves the moment I could feel the warmth inside the blanket.
Like most dreams, I had no idea when it all started.
The first image was bright.
It felt as if I was in a roller coaster except that there was no car. It was a roller coaster ride in midair. The sky was full of colours and kaleidoscopic decorations everywhere. I felt a dive all of a sudden but there was no fear. All I could perceive was vertigo. No emotions ensued. Not knowing where or how this ride would go, I let go of control. Since I wasn’t bound onto anything, I was worried about being thrown out of something. Once in a while I could register bits of the background music. It seemed to lead the ride. As the tune dropped, my imaginary roller coaster fell along. Sometimes it’d almost stop as the music transitioned then take a sudden turn. There was no way to predict anything.
Then I caught a glimpse of Joe standing below as my ride was swirling around. The moment I tried to reach out to him, I teleported into his body. Before I knew it, I was kicked out again. Nevertheless, during that short 1 second, I could feel this huge hot red ball of something inside his stomach. I managed to take a peek down and see it burning like a heavy sun. Just as I was about to take it in and feel his suffering, he pushed me out to protect me from his own burden.
I tried to reconnect and swap body again but the music had changed and this time, it dragged me down to a whole deeper level.
I no longer felt like anything.
I didn’t have a body. I wasn’t of any form. Neither solid nor liquid nor gas nor plasma. I didn’t have any memory or Past. I had completely forgotten not only who I am but also WHAT I am. But I could still perceive the whole experience.
It was no longer just a roller coaster ride. Now everything was moving in chaos. I was part of a mixture of entities that seemed to be trying to blend together to attain equilibrium. The churning was non-stop and never slowed down. Sometimes I’d feel like we were close to our goal just to be moved around again. It was a lightning-speed series of trials and errors. Every time “we” failed, I felt an uneasy feeling inside. There was simply too much substance to harmonize and even with the incredible speed at which the mixing was going, it seemed like it’d take an eternity to find the answer. At this point I had completely let go of any control. Having no idea what I was anymore, I simply followed along.
I had no idea how long that trip lasted but by the time I regained a little memory of who I was, I felt like I was playing a game and could feel my hands in the air trying to piece the elements to get what I wanted. I didn’t even know what I wanted to achieve.
I tried to look more closely into the pieces on the ceiling but then I realized that I couldn’t tell if my eyes were closed or open. That became my next objective. It was like that experience when you sit in complete darkness for so long you can no longer tell if your eyes are closed or open because both look the same. After struggling to control my eye muscles, I gave up. It was then that the memory of Joe from just now came back. I tried to look for him again in that chaotic world to attempt another body swap.
Just when I thought I was close to finding him, I heard a voice from above. My friend had came back to check up on us. His voice brought me partially back to reality as I could finally see the real ceiling. I asked him where Joe was and he told me Joe was chilling at the garden outside. I asked him to help me get there.
When my friend helped me walk to the garden, I had no idea how he did it. I couldn’t feel anything from my neck down. It was as if all I had was the head. I kept wondering how he carried my out there.
By the time my friend sat me down on a chair, I could feel part of my body back but the arms were still missing. I couldn’t be bothered by then and decided to enjoy the early morning breeze. When I looked up, the sky was full of diamond shapes grouped together. There was no curve anywhere. It felt like a glitch in the Matrix and I wondered if I could fly up there and get through this simulation to see the real world. Then again, it reminded me that even if I got past this simulation, what’s to assure that I wouldn’t end up in just another one?
I struggled to catch up with what my friends were discussing and bit by bit I felt parts of my arms back. I could articulate my thought but the words still seemed like they came out of someone else’s mouth, as if I was speaking from a third-person view.
I looked at Joe and thought about the huge ball of fire inside him. By then my body was at its limit yet I couldn’t sleep at all. Giving up, I lay there like an inanimate object.
t/p
